The Version I Never Got to Say Goodbye To

They don’t tell you that motherhood is a series of goodbyes no one prepares you for.

Not the kind with tears and suitcases or final hugs in an airport terminal.

These goodbyes are quieter. Softer.

They slip in when you’re folding laundry or pouring cereal.

One day, the baby that curled perfectly on your chest doesn’t fit there anymore.

One day, the toddler with food-smeared cheeks starts asking for their own napkin.

One day, the little voice calling “Mama!” down the hallway is suddenly deeper, or more distracted, or too busy to call at all.

And you never noticed the last time they did it.

Because you didn’t know it was the last.

No one tells you how much it aches to love someone who is constantly changing.

To hold them in all their stages and not realize a version of them has quietly slipped away—

until you’re searching your memories for it.

Until you’re replaying their giggle, the way their little hand used to fit in yours, the silly made-up phrases they’ve since forgotten.

And even though you love who they are now with all your being—

you find yourself missing who they were then, too.

It’s not about wanting time to freeze.

It’s just that motherhood asks you to open your heart again and again…

to someone new,

while grieving the one who just left.

And the hardest part of all…

You never get to say goodbye.

Have you felt this too?

Is there a version of your child you still miss — a phase that slipped away before you realized it was the last?

I’d love to hear your story, your memory, your moment.

Let’s hold space together for all the versions we’ve loved. I’d be honored to read you in the comments 🩵.

When the Days Feel Heavy, But I Still Show Up

Some days, I’m not the mother I imagined I’d be.

Not the patient one.

Not the always-smiling one.

Not the one with crafts prepared, snacks portioned, or calm words flowing like poetry.

Some days, I am tired.

I am short-fused.

I am quiet because I’m too overwhelmed to explain what I’m feeling.

And I wonder if my children see me—the real me—through the haze of noise, chores, and all the things I’m carrying.

But even on those days… I show up.

I hold them when they cry.

I apologize when I raise my voice.

I whisper “I love you” even when I feel like I’m unraveling.

I pack lunches and brush hair and kiss scraped knees, even with tears in my own eyes.

Motherhood is not a performance of perfection.

It’s a quiet, relentless offering.

An offering of crumbs and cuddles.

Of deep sighs and deeper love.

Of scraped-together strength, even when your heart is sore.

This season has been hard.

There are things happening around me—things that weigh heavy on my spirit.

And I wish I could shield my children from all of it.

But maybe, just maybe…

What they need most isn’t a perfect mother.

Maybe they need a real one.

One who feels deeply.

Who cries, but gets back up.

Who loves fiercely, even when the world feels fragile.

If today you’re struggling—please know you’re not alone.

If all you managed was a whispered “I love you” and a warm plate on the table, you did enough.

You are enough.

And one day, your children won’t remember the dust or the tears or the chaos.

They’ll remember that you were there.

Even when it was hard.