Motherhood Reflections – Of Crumbs & Cuddles

The Version I Never Got to Say Goodbye To

They don’t tell you that motherhood is a series of goodbyes no one prepares you for.

Not the kind with tears and suitcases or final hugs in an airport terminal.

These goodbyes are quieter. Softer.

They slip in when you’re folding laundry or pouring cereal.

One day, the baby that curled perfectly on your chest doesn’t fit there anymore.

One day, the toddler with food-smeared cheeks starts asking for their own napkin.

One day, the little voice calling “Mama!” down the hallway is suddenly deeper, or more distracted, or too busy to call at all.

And you never noticed the last time they did it.

Because you didn’t know it was the last.

No one tells you how much it aches to love someone who is constantly changing.

To hold them in all their stages and not realize a version of them has quietly slipped away—

until you’re searching your memories for it.

Until you’re replaying their giggle, the way their little hand used to fit in yours, the silly made-up phrases they’ve since forgotten.

And even though you love who they are now with all your being—

you find yourself missing who they were then, too.

It’s not about wanting time to freeze.

It’s just that motherhood asks you to open your heart again and again…

to someone new,

while grieving the one who just left.

And the hardest part of all…

You never get to say goodbye.

Have you felt this too?

Is there a version of your child you still miss — a phase that slipped away before you realized it was the last?

I’d love to hear your story, your memory, your moment.

Let’s hold space together for all the versions we’ve loved. I’d be honored to read you in the comments 🩵.

The Weight and Wonder of Motherhood: What No One Tells You, and How to Carry It All

No one tells you that motherhood is a constant paradox—how it can feel like both too much and not enough at the same time. That your heart will stretch wider than you ever thought it could, only to break and heal again, often in the span of a single day.

We’re warned about sleepless nights and teething. About tantrums and teenage moods. But few talk about the emotional complexities: the identity shifts, the loneliness, the guilt of not being everything to everyone all at once. The way you can crave quiet and simultaneously ache for their laughter down the hallway.

The Invisible Load

There is a term floating around the internet—“the invisible load.” It’s the mental to-do list mothers carry: the birthday gifts, the school forms, the emotional well-being of each child, the state of the kitchen floor. It’s not just the doing, but the thinking and feeling about the doing.

This kind of labor is exhausting. Not just physically, but spiritually.

Because motherhood isn’t just a role—it’s an awakening. It brings out the best in you, and it confronts the worst. It humbles you. It pulls from wells you didn’t know you had. And some days, it dries them up.

What Helps: Gentle Tools, Not Grand Fixes

Motherhood doesn’t need fixing, but it does need support. Here are a few ways to lighten the emotional load while staying rooted in love:

1. Prayer: Not Performance, But Presence

Prayer doesn’t have to be formal or eloquent. Sometimes, it’s as simple as “Help me.” Other times, it’s a whispered “Thank you” in the middle of chaos. It’s a conversation, not a checklist. And in those moments when you feel small or unseen, prayer reminds you that someone bigger is holding you too.

2. Meditation and Mindfulness: Small Pauses in the Storm

Even just 3 minutes of stillness can shift the tone of your day. Close your eyes. Breathe deep. Feel your feet on the ground. Mindfulness won’t remove the mess, but it can help you meet it with softer shoulders.

3. Letting Go: Of Perfection, of Control, of the Myth of Balance

Some days are not balanced. They are beautiful and broken in unequal parts. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up—it means loosening your grip on the things that aren’t yours to carry. It means redefining “enough.”

4. Community: The Unseen Lifeline

Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, a group chat, or a late-night voice memo to someone who gets it—mothers need mirrors. Not just to see their reflection, but to be reminded they aren’t alone.

Final Thoughts

You are allowed to feel tired. You are allowed to not love every moment. You are allowed to want more—not just for your children, but for yourself.

And in all of that… you are still a good mother.

Maybe that’s the deepest truth no one tells you: that the struggle doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re in it. Fully. Deeply. Honestly.

And love—real, raw, unedited love—is what lives in that place.

When the Days Feel Heavy, But I Still Show Up

Some days, I’m not the mother I imagined I’d be.

Not the patient one.

Not the always-smiling one.

Not the one with crafts prepared, snacks portioned, or calm words flowing like poetry.

Some days, I am tired.

I am short-fused.

I am quiet because I’m too overwhelmed to explain what I’m feeling.

And I wonder if my children see me—the real me—through the haze of noise, chores, and all the things I’m carrying.

But even on those days… I show up.

I hold them when they cry.

I apologize when I raise my voice.

I whisper “I love you” even when I feel like I’m unraveling.

I pack lunches and brush hair and kiss scraped knees, even with tears in my own eyes.

Motherhood is not a performance of perfection.

It’s a quiet, relentless offering.

An offering of crumbs and cuddles.

Of deep sighs and deeper love.

Of scraped-together strength, even when your heart is sore.

This season has been hard.

There are things happening around me—things that weigh heavy on my spirit.

And I wish I could shield my children from all of it.

But maybe, just maybe…

What they need most isn’t a perfect mother.

Maybe they need a real one.

One who feels deeply.

Who cries, but gets back up.

Who loves fiercely, even when the world feels fragile.

If today you’re struggling—please know you’re not alone.

If all you managed was a whispered “I love you” and a warm plate on the table, you did enough.

You are enough.

And one day, your children won’t remember the dust or the tears or the chaos.

They’ll remember that you were there.

Even when it was hard.

Whispers from the Wind

Sometimes, when the world feels too loud,

I step outside and listen.

Not to the cars.

Not to the clocks.

But to the wind.

Because there’s something about the way it moves —

soft and steady,

wild and free —

that feels like a message meant just for me.

A reminder that life doesn’t have to be rushed.

That everything we need isn’t always loud or visible.

Sometimes, it comes in whispers.

Like the whisper to slow down.

To notice the golden light on your child’s cheek.

To pause when they say, “Look, Mama,”

even if you’ve already looked ten times before.

Sometimes, I wonder if the wind carries memories.

If it knows the stories the trees have heard,

or the quiet wishes we’ve made in the dark.

So I listen.

I breathe in.

And I remind myself —

not all wisdom is loud.

Not all guidance comes in answers.

Some comes as a breeze against your skin,

soft and unseen…

but never unfelt.

Dear Exhausted Mama, You’re Not Doing It Wrong

Dear mama,

If your house is loud and your heart is tired…

If you can’t remember the last time you sat down without someone needing something…

If the days blur together and you’re holding it all by a thread —

please hear me:

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re showing up.

Even when you’re running on crumbs of sleep and microwaved coffee.

Even when you’re doubting yourself.

Even when no one claps for you, but you keep clapping for them.

And maybe lately…

you’ve been wondering what happened to the friendships you used to lean on.

Why conversations feel harder.

Why your relationship feels distant, or strained, or like two ships passing.

You’re not doing that wrong either.

Motherhood shifts everything.

Time, energy, even connection — they get stretched and tangled.

But that doesn’t mean love is lost.

It just means you’re living in the in-between —

where the giving is constant

and the receiving takes more intention.

You are not failing.

You are mothering.

And that work, that heart, that trying —

it matters more than you know.

So today, I hope you ask.

For rest.

For grace.

For someone to see you the way your children do —

as the safe place, the soft landing, the whole world.

To Every Kind of Mother — This One’s for You

Mother’s Day can feel like a lot of things.

For some, it’s breakfast in bed and handmade cards with crayon hearts.

For others, it’s a quiet ache — for a child lost, a mother gone, a hope still unmet.

Some of us are in the thick of it —

our shirts stained with milk or tears or yesterday’s spaghetti.

Some are watching from afar, grown children living lives they once cradled into being.

And some are still waiting — to become a mother, to meet the one they’ve imagined, to feel the weight of that love in their arms.

To all of you — this one’s for you.

To the new mama, with heavy eyes and a full heart…

You’re doing it. Even on the days that don’t feel magical. Especially then.

To the mama of many, juggling tiny needs with quiet strength…

I see how often you put yourself last. You are building something eternal.

To the mama parenting through grief or divorce or distance…

There is no measure for how deeply you love.

Your motherhood is not defined by circumstance — but by presence.

To the mama with teens who won’t say much these days…

They’re still listening. Still learning from the way you show up.

To the mother who lost her own…

I know today feels heavier.

Grief and love sit side by side in your heart, and that is holy ground.

To the woman who mothers with her heart, not just her body…

Foster moms, aunties, stepmoms, chosen moms, grandmas, teachers —

You are essential threads in the fabric of love.

And to the women still waiting…

Whether your path to motherhood is delayed, different, or uncertain —

you are seen. You are whole. And you are not alone.

Motherhood isn’t just one thing.

It’s not clean or tidy or always joyful.

It’s messy, loud, exhausting, life-giving.

It’s wiping tears and packing lunches.

It’s sleepless nights and sacred firsts.

It’s showing up — over and over again —

even when no one says thank you.

So today, let me say it.

Thank you.

For all the invisible things.

For the soft hands that hold too much.

For the strength you don’t always feel, but always give.

For the stories you carry in your body and the memories you build, moment by moment.

You are not just celebrated today.

You are needed, honored, and loved.

Happy Mother’s Day — to every kind of mother.

You are everything.